I recently read something about relationships – when they end or drift apart, instead of feeling rejected or as if you’ve failed somehow, think about what you’ve learned from that person. If they helped you grow, provided support, helped you with a transition – there’s always a purpose for someone to be in your life. I’m not saying people are to be used and discarded. It’s just that sometimes you can’t see the value of a relationship clearly while you’re in the midst of it.
I just knew that I’d found my soul mate! If you’ve been through my site before, you’ll remember this same man being the subject of a love story and a poem. He has also been my inspiration for many of these thoughts. I used to be 100% sure that he was my destiny, but time often changes perspective on situations. I hoped that he’d “come around” – tell me that I was the most wonderfullest woman he had ever met and carry me off on a white horse. We’d get married, have a beautiful home, make lotsa babies and money! (I’m a romantic). I know I haven’t wasted time because I tend to work through my emotions slowly. He told me that he didn’t expect me to wait while he pursued professional and personal goals. He said I would be the one he let get away. I was hurt because I thought he understood that I wanted to wait. I don’t know why I was afraid he’d let me go. I’ve nowhere to go but up!!
I don’t want to get too carried away here. Essentially, it became very clear to me that there was nothing I could say or do to change the brotha’s mind. I still applaud him for being so focused. Anyway, I said all that to say: once I made the realization that there was nothing I could do, I kicked open the closet door. “BAM!” ( kicked it too hard and it bounced back and smashed me).
But when I stepped outside, I saw clearly – thoughtful smiles from people I don’t know, admiring looks from the gentlemen, blissfully mindless conversations with people in line at the grocery store… things I had rarely noticed before. The simplest of things have always meant the most to me. Clearly, I continue to grow and although it can be scary, I’ve come to far to go back now.
Be Blessed. Be clear.