Last Tuesday marked the sixth anniversary of my father’s death. Some days, the sense of loss is fresh and other days it is distant. It has become tolerable but never does go away. It serves as a reminder. In a way, I’m thankful. Because if the sense of loss subsides, I might forget. Or would I? A dear friend of mine lost his father this year. One of the hardest things for me to this day is something he is facing now. It’s the times you wish you could talk to them. I could never quite predict what my father would say about certain situations but he always had an opinion. Sometimes he would listen and nod; other times he would laugh.
I’ve found lately, I’ve just wanted to tell him about my business. I believe I inherited my entrepreneurial spirit partly from him. He had an auto body shop called Eddie’s Auto when I was about 8 or 9. He did really professional work – out of our garage. I always thought my sister was more like my father than me but I see now that we both inherited special traits from him. I always feel a certain sadness around this time of year. I miss him terribly but I know all things happen for a reason. I think of how I’ve been blessed since his death and it is eases my mind. I think of him often and wonder what he would make of this whole Internet thing. I know he would be proud of me. I can feel it even though he is gone. God rest his soul. I know many who’ve lost loved ones since I lost my father and each time, it was like losing him all over again. My coworker and good friend lost her only son – 17 years old – and 5 months later our boss – another good friend – lost her husband. My friend lost his sister – his best friend and only sibling – 5 months later. Another friend lost many relatives and then his father suddenly this year. As far as I know, these people are maintaining. We all work through it in different ways and there’s no doubt it changes your perspective on life. Grief takes its time, and that’s all right. It hurts but I know God will fill that vacancy with love. He breaks us down in order to build us back up. †